Flathead Beacon | Comments

By anthony r on 06-19-08

The only thing that is offensive in this whole discussion, is the fact that someone would actually consider NOT serving alcoholic beverages at a sushi restaurant. It sure is a good thing though, that our elected officials are watching out for our morals by keeping a sinful, devil worshiping, junkie owned restaurant like this out of Montana- I might have been tempted to go, god forbid! Thank god for the government to keep us all in line!

By Howie on 06-20-08

Being somewhat of an economic libertarian, I can appreciate most business efforts to provide jobs, earn enough money to pay taxes and make a good living. Consequently, I’m not terribly offended when I read about a sushi-bar in which the raw fish is served on raw flesh.

I am, however, offended by the fact that this is taking place in Montana. Consequently I hope that someone in the Flathead will take notice and respond in true Montanan fashion.

Naturally I’m talking about a Naked Steak House.

As most would agree, in Montana and other more enlightened parts of the country, the only authentic - and therefore trustworthy - source of protein comes from beef. We will also accept it from bison since from a distance, a buffalo herd looks the same as a bunch of big cows.

Beef then, in keeping with its rough-and-tumble image is typically served on hefty plates. Or, at some places, on metal skillets as is fitting with the experience of having first killed, then bled, then gutted, then skinned, then carved your meal.

Sticking with this image, at the Naked Steak House the meal would be served on big naked men. The bigger, the better.

I know this last statement will cause some to accuse me of being sexist. I’m really not. And to be honest, I might consider using big naked women as the platter of choice. Sort of a dyslexic Hooters.

My point is that if you are going to serve big beef steaks on naked people, the selection should be proportionate to the meal.

Picture this: after entering the Naked Steak House you select a big rib-eye, cooked rare ("Just get rid of the moo, darlin’"), along with a large baked potato with real butter, sour cream and fake bacon bits. Your meal also comes with an ear of sweet corn and a big roll.

Just before the waitperson delivers your steaming hot meal, a large native approaches your table. Your water starts to shake; the first sign tha your meal is ready. You look up just in time to see your human table - er, table setting - remove his shirt and pants. Then, wearing only a pair of Carhartt boxers, he lies down just as your steak is delivered.

The waitperson quickly places the steak on his belly, already reddened from previous patrons. The corn ...

You get the idea.

To me, the offensive part of the Naked Sushi was the sushi. If we want to remain true to our heritage we’ll go for naked steak or nothing at all.